Coaching

Keys to Building your Coaching Relationships

Keys to Building your Coaching Relationships

I talk a lot about the first step in coaching any client (individual, system, team, etc.) is to build a relationship, gain empathy and understanding, and then gain an idea of where/how to help initially. So, do NOT start to coach until you’ve done some relationship-building. 

But what does a coaching relationship, or a professional relationship in general, look like? What are aspects of that? Here are a few things that come to my mind—

  • Making + taking the time.

  • Explaining what you do—what is Agile Coaching.

  • Building some empathy; walking in their shoes; understanding where they are coming from.

  • Meeting them where they are.

  • Listening; reflective listening; building metaphors together.

  • Connecting with their language, not yours.

Adding AI (Appreciative Inquiry) to your Agile Coaching Mindset

Adding AI (Appreciative Inquiry) to your  Agile Coaching Mindset

And, NO, not that AI. 

I became aware of Appreciative Inquiry perhaps two decades ago. I read a book on the subject and it literally changed the way I was leading folks in my organization. Influencing me to shift my leadership mindset and thinking from—

  • Deficit versus Asset thinking

  • Strengths versus Weakness thinking

  • Positive versus Negative thinking

  • Affirmative versus Denial thinking

  • Learning Organization versus Status Quo

It also inspired me to become more aware (and appreciative) of—

  • Becoming much more strengths-based in my self-awareness and leadership approaches.

  • Amplifying strengths when coaching individuals.

  • Using more appreciative and positive language when providing feedback.

  • Including the teams in co-creating and crafting a shared vision.

Clarity on Professional Coaching versus Agile Coaching

Clarity on Professional Coaching versus Agile Coaching

I want to offer two discussion threads for your consideration. Both are from LinkedIn and are quite critical of the place of/for Professional Coaching (leadership coaching, personal coaching, life coaching, ICF coaching) in Agile Coaching contexts.  

Huy Nguyen initiated the first discussion, and Francesco Bianchi initiated the second. I’ve only pulled a small selection of the comments from each post—so I would encourage you to read the entire thread.

In the end, I plan on drawing some of my inspiration and conclusions from the discussions. Partly as a wrap-up but also to provide some personal clarity I’ve received from these discussions (and more).

I want to thank Huy and Francesco for helping me focus my thinking and for serving as thought leaders in our community. Taking a stand or speaking out your truth is not always easy, so I applaud both of them for their courageous role modeling and ongoing contributions.

Huy Nguyen

Huy Nguyen reacts on LinkedIn to the following Bob Emiliani article - https://bobemiliani.com/seeing-beyond-what-you-know/

Reflections for Agile Coaches

Savita Pahuja is an agile coach who is a principal in CoachingSaga. I’ve met her in user groups for some years, and her balance, thoughtfulness, and experience have always impressed me. 

She recently wrote two articles about reflective practice and self-reflection for Agile Coaches that I want to bring to your attention—

From an Agile Coaching Growth Wheel perspective, reflection is one of the foundational elements of Self-Mastery.

I’d encourage you to read both of them and to follow Savita’s future posts.

Stay agile, my friends,

Bob.

Coaching versus Telling

Coaching versus Telling

Marcia Reynolds posted this recently on LinkedIn

Many leaders think it is easier to give advice than to take the time to coach others to find their own solutions. They don’t realize they are wasting time instead of saving it.
When you tell people what to do, your primarily access their short-term memory in their cognitive brain, where learning is least effective. They either comply or resist, and often do not remember the details of what you shared.
This is why we refrain from telling people what to do in coaching. We activate their creative, generative brain! Creative insights are lasting, not temporary, and often build confidence in acting on new ideas. Change is sustainable, and you cultivate agile thinking and performing!
Save this post to refer back to when you need it. ❤️

That I’d like to examine from two perspectives—

Agile Coaches—Does the Direction of your Journey Matter?

Agile Coaches—Does the Direction of your Journey Matter?

I had breakfast with my friend and colleague Leon Sabarsky the other morning, and we discussed the common evolutionary paths for many agile coaches. 

We came up with two primary directions if you will—

One is focused on moving from a background in software product development and then adding or emerging your Agile Coaching skills.

Indicators of this direction include—

  • I’ve developed software and products (Developer)

  • I’ve tested those products (Tester)

  • I’ve developed release pipelines (DevOps)

  • I’ve developed architectures and requirements (Architect, Business Analyst)

  • I’ve worked with software product customers and stakeholders (Business Domani)

  • I’ve led a variety of product development teams (Leadership-Management) 

All focused on IT, Technology, Software Products, and Business Agility.

Let’s Stop Conflating Life Coaching with Agile Coaching

Let’s Stop Conflating Life Coaching with Agile Coaching

They are not the same!

Conflation – Definition

the act or process of combining two or more separate things into one whole, especially pieces of text or ideas.

the process or result of fusing items into one entity; fusion; amalgamation.

I was listening in on a discussion the other day between two coaches. One raised the point that there was no place for practicing therapy in professional or life coaching. They emphasized that there was a line to be drawn between coaching and therapy.

That is—professional coaches were not therapists, and they shouldn’t go there. And it was a challenge because coaching often “butted up against” therapy, so it required self-awareness on the part of the professional coach to—

  • Thoroughly understand what professional coaching is;

  • Understand its core competencies and boundaries;

  • And, when sensing that the conversation was moving into therapy, to stop coaching and refer their client to a qualified therapist.

Professional Coaching in Agile Contexts

Professional Coaching in Agile Contexts

A Case of Shiny Object Syndrome?

I watched a demonstration of a seasoned coach providing coaching supervision to another agile coach the other day. In both cases, these were coaches who coached in agile contexts. So, they walked the line between operating as a Professional Coach (ICF) and an Agile Coach, who provides much more breadth of coaching than Professional Coaching.

It was a virtual session, so perhaps 40-50 agile coaches were observing. I could tell that everyone was intently following the conversation as it unfolded. I was enthralled as they artfully constructed a coaching conversation arc that felt, well, masterful.

First Reaction

It was a wonderful demonstration of professional coaching, specifically coaching supervision in action.

Who Wants to Become a Badass Agile Coach?

A Masterclass 

When I first conceived the Extraordinarily Badass Agile Coaching book, I was reacting to my perceived lack of professionalism and craft with many agile coaches in our community. Among other things, I felt that—

  • There were many coaches in name only with a few certifications under their belts but not enough experience or skill. Chasing the money, if you will.

  • There was an imbalance towards Professional Coaching over more powerful stances such as Mentoring, Advising, Leading, and Transformation (see ACGW reference below).

  • As a community, we had failed to do an excellent job of communicating what agile coaching was, was not, and the value or impact it could have on the individual, team, and organization we are coaching.

So, initially, I envisioned creating a masterclass for agile coaching. It is not necessarily aligned with existing certifications but a place where agile coaches could immerse in all aspects of coaching skill and practice—significantly raising their skill bar to benefit themselves and their clients.

But then my work on the book and contributing to the Comparative Agility—Agile Coaching PI assessment and Agile Coaching Growth Wheel got in the way. So, a few years passed.

Masterclass

But now, my attention, focus, and hope for our profession fall back toward a class. But not just any class, a Masterclass rooted in—

  • Developing your inner coach (self) first.

  • Becoming more well-wounded in your skills & competencies.

  • Understand the place for a professional coaching stance, yet do not let it dominate your agile coaching.

  • More than teaching. A place where a group of like-minded coaches can collaborate—learning together, practicing together, and growing together.

  • Nurturing collaborative learning in small groups.

  • Becoming, dare I say it, a Badass Agile Coach.

And, of course, grounding the class in—

The class will be an immersive experience. We’ll meet for 2-hours each week to dive deeply into a specific topic or area. That will go on for ~12 sessions or ~3 months. Beyond the 2-hours per week, there will be an additional 2-3 hours of study and small-group learning. So, overall, a ~5-hour commitment per week of your time.

The class will also be constructed so that you get personalized coaching to help you in your learning journey and professional development. We’ll use the Comparative Agility PI as our base platform and include 2, 1-hour, 1:1 coaching sessions.

What It Is not?

It is not for beginners or novice agilists.

It is not for someone who is only seeking a certification.

It is not for someone who struggles to prioritize their learning.

It is not for someone who thinks Agile Coaching is a destination rather than a journey.

Who’s interested?

This post aims to test community interest in joining my first masterclass cohort.

Without giving additional detail, my questions are—

  • How do you feel about the idea?

  • Would you be interested in participating in a cohort? Why?

  • What would you be willing to pay for the experience?

  • What would be the Top 5 areas you’d like to work on to improve your Agile Coaching skillset?

Here’s a link to a short survey to answer those questions.

I hope to begin the first one in early March 2024, but we’ll see how the market (Y'all) responds. And please share this with interested colleagues across your networks.

Stay agile, my friends,

Bob.

Skin in the Game

Skin in the Game

I have a pet peeve for most agile coaches that I meet. Most of them avoid having skin in the game when coaching their teams, leaders, and organizations.

What are the primary culprits?

  • Too much life Coaching / Professional Coaching influence in their coaching approach;

  • A lack of deep and broad competency and skills;

  • Significant risk aversion and fear of failure.