White Privilege and Authenticity in the Coaching Relationship

White Privilege and Authenticity in the Coaching Relationship

I was recently asked about how privilege shows up in the coaching relationship. Although the topic of privilege has been discussed in various capacities, I have not yet seen or read enough people tackling the issue of White Privilege. Let me one up that, I have not yet seen WHITE PEOPLE tackle this issue.

As a white, cisgender female, who provides coaching, I have a lot of privilege. The number one area that I have the most privilege in is my Whiteness.

With that said, I thought it would be helpful to provide some of my thoughts and suggestions on how to address it in both the role of being Coached as well as Coaching others.

Let’s look at it from Three main areas – self-awareness, ask/address, and learn & growth.

Every day, wake up, and ask yourself...

who am I standing on the shoulders of (family, friends, colleagues, experts), and acknowledge them...

what difference will I make today, and make it...

what am I grateful for today, and celebrate it...

who am I grateful for today, and thank them...

what do I dream of accomplishing tomorrow, and take a step towards it...

who can I hug (in-person or virtually), then hug them...

are you doing what you love, and if no, then take a step towards it...

what can I unlearn today, then unlearn it...

what baggage or bias can I reduce today, then release it...

who can I help today, then help them...

do I need help today with something, then ask for it...

what can I do to be kind to myself today, then do it...

what one thing do I need to do today, then do it

what am I worried about, then let it go for just today...

have I walked in nature and been thankful for the greatness of it. If not, then take a walk…

have I hugged myself today, if not, then hug yourself...

what is the one thing I could do today to bring me joy, then do it... 

Every single day is a chance to begin anew—to learn, to grow, to make amends, to renew. Don’t waste it!

Stay agile my friends,

Bob.

Why Aren’t People Talking?

Why Aren’t People Talking?

Here’s the scenario…

I have a question and would like to get some inspiration on an activity I’m trying to put together. Looking for an activity which will cover the following:

  • Strong communication between members in a team

  • Listening skills

  • Understand what is being told to you

My team is virtual, with a couple from another country, so English isn’t their first language. I have team members who don’t communicate to others to advise when they are done work so others can proceed, and the team on the most part is not functioning as a single entity. Now we are still in the Storming Phase, as this team was formed in late January and we added two new members over the last month.

The work gets done by the team, but it’s the bonding, communication, and paying attention when others speak, where I’m seeing issues. Especially hard being virtual for some I gather.

Clearly, the person sharing up the scenario wants things to change, improve, or get better. They want the folks to talk. And their reactions are—

  • How do I get them to talk more or when needed?

  • Do I just call on everybody in the meetings and make them talk?

  • Under the banner of continuous improvement within the team, how do we change this?

As a backdrop, they have a dual role of Scrum Master of the team and a Developer on the team. So, the mixed nature of their roles might be exacerbating things. Perhaps?

ZERO Tolerance – What’s yours?

I saw this post in LinkedIn and it caused me to stop and think about zero tolerance and my relationship with it. It has an interesting comment trail that’s worth reading as well.

First of all, I’m using this post and the associated article as inspiration for my response. I am NOT making or taking a political position. Nor am I supporting Joe Biden’s statement. But what I do want to say or ask is…

What is your Zero Tolerance Zone?

I actually think it’s a question that we each need to privately come to grips with. In quiet, when we’re reflecting on our values, principles, and how we’re going to “show up” in life both professionally and personally.

Exploring our boundaries where we’ll say—

  • Enough is enough?

  • Or report harassment in any form?

  • Or walk away from a consulting gig?

  • Or part ways with a colleague, partner, or employee?

  • Or walk away from a supposed friend?

  • Or call someone out publicly for their behavior?

With all of the risk that’s associated with these actions.

What’s the point of having principles and ethics if we’re not willing to take the ultimate action in them when the situation warrants it?

If you know me, I hope you know that I’m not an extremist. And I don’t take positions like this lightly. But I was inspired by this article to reflect on my zero-tolerance zone and to clarify my tolerance boundaries. And I’ve done that.

I hope it inspires you to reflect on your own. 

Stay agile my friends,

Bob.

I don’t see HOW this HELPS?

I became aware of Neil on Software just the other day via a LinkedIn post from a colleague. He referenced the “How to Deal with Difficult People on Software Projects” work that Neil has shared. I went through it a bit and I need some of your help.  

Why?

Because I simply don’t get the value. Yes, it’s—

  • Creative

  • Snarky

  • Novel

  • Interesting

  • On the surface, pretty cool, with neat graphics…

But is it helpful? I’m struggling with that.

Is it helpful to stereotype people in software projects? To put them in boxes and categorize them?

When people are incredibly complex beings in themselves. And, it’s not just that individual complexity that I find unique and uncategorizable, but nobody works in a vacuum. Individuals are part of organizational systems. With all of the increased complexity that it brings to bear.

Is it helpful in guiding my individual learning and growth? Is it helpful in guiding my interaction in organizational systems? And, importantly to me, is it helpful in meeting people where they are and with respect?

Perhaps you can help me in the comments on this post. Because right now, I’m pretty well triggered and not getting the value proposition…

Stay agile my friends,

Bob.

 

Diversity, Inclusion, AND Equity

Diversity, Inclusion, AND Equity

Luke Hohmann presented the following scenario the other day on LinkedIn

If you’re wondering how you think about salary and fair pay, consider the following scenario I gave to my kids at dinner a few nights ago.

A white man and a black woman apply for the same job. They are equally qualified. During the interview process, the you ask the candidates for their salary requirements. The white man provides a number that matches the salary target established by your company. The black woman provides a number that is lower. If you hire the black woman, do you pay her what she requested or the established salary target?

It was fascinating to listen to the debate that ensued. One argument is that the company should maximize profits, so paying the black woman what she requested would be fair. A counter argument is that quite often minorities don’t know what they’re worth, so they often request salaries that are below market rates, and the company should pay the target salary.

Personally, I don’t feel that this is a hard choice. Leaders who have ‘power’ over such things as compensation should use their privilege to compensate people fairly.

I fully agree with Luke’s last point. There needs to be fairness and equity in compensation and there is really no excuse for shying away from it.

The Scrum Master Dilemma

The Scrum Master Dilemma

My friend and colleague, Anthony Mersino posted the following question on LinkedIn -

https://www.linkedin.com/posts/anthonymersino_question-for-all-the-scrum-experts-out-there-activity-6778294424997814273-maRX

In order to answer his question, I’m wondering what decision we’d make if we replaced Scrum Master with something like…

Full-time, senior/experienced, backend-focused software developer. Call them BED. And reframe his question below—

Belated 2020 Accomplishments

Belated 2020 Accomplishments

I write so often and sometimes I lose a thought or article and then find it. I found this one today (March 15th). Of course, I’m posting it a bit late, but as I read it, it felt like something that should see the light of day. So, better late than never…

I saw a post on LinkedIn the other day (late in 2020) from someone who was reflecting on their 2020 accomplishments. It read—

And I’m done for 2020!! 17 CALs, 16 CSPOs, 14 CSMs, 1 book written, 1 board of directors joined, 1/2 master’s degree completed. Maybe I’ll limit my WiP in 2021.

This was from a CST and the 47 letter combinations equaled training that they had delivered.

Finding a job as a Scrum Master without Experience

Finding a job as a Scrum Master without Experience

I agreed to speak at a Scrum Masters of African Descent meetup group yesterday (Sunday, February 21st) in an Ask Me Anything / Fireside Chat format. One of the questions (and some of the reactions) has stayed with me. So, I thought I’d write this post to share some additional thoughts on one of the questions. Here’s the question—

If you don’t have any prior Scrum experience on your resume, how can you show companies that you are capable of doing the job?

My First Reaction

Let me start by saying this.

Finding and landing ANY job without direct experience is hard. Heck, looking for work WITH experience is hard. So, the first thing to think about in addressing this question is—it’s not going to be easy. And, you will get a lot of rejections. So,

  • Get your courage up;

  • Get your persistence up;

  • Get ready to work really hard at it…really hard;

  • And thicken your skin a bit.

Because it will be a bumpy ride. I’m not joking or trying to make it seem unattainable. It isn’t. It IS attainable, but it won’t be EASY!

AgendaShift – A week with Mike Burrows

AgendaShift – A week with Mike Burrows

I just spent 4-days of my week (week of February 22nd) with Mike Burrows. The class was a Deep Dive into Mike’s AgendaShift thinking. I say thinking because I’m not exactly sure what to call everything he shared.

It could be part—

  • Agile mindset or principled approach;

  • Approach to organizational change;

  • Continuous change framework;

  • Toolbox of collaboration tools;

  • Engagement Model;

  • Focus on Clean Language throughout;

  • Forms, list, canvases, etc.;

  • OKR/Outcome-based model.

I took the class virtually across 4-days in 4-hour chunks. In my eagerness to attend a class sooner than later, I signed up for a class starting at 4:30am EST. Not my best decision ever.

I’ve only heard Mike speak a few times at conference events and in overviews of his thinking and materials. So, the Deep Dive was a welcome immersion into his approaches to learning, his thoughts, and stories. I was also curious as to how his approaches could benefit me in my agile coaching practice and with my clients’ interests in change.